Wedding Thank You Etiquette - FAQs | Saphire Event Group

During the wedding planning process, most couple’s questions and concerns revolve around the actual wedding day festivities. Once the wedding day has come and gone, a few questions remain, mostly regarding wedding thank you etiquette.

Today we are answering the most frequently asked questions regarding wedding thank you etiquette. We will dish all the details on who, what and when as it pertains to wedding thank you notes.

wedding thank you etiquette
robert castagna photography
1. What should we say in our thank you notes?

When it comes to wedding thank you card wording, you will want to make it as special as possible. For guests who attended your wedding, you will want to thank them for celebrating with you and for their wonderful gift. If you received an item, it’s best to state exactly what it is you received and how excited you are to use it. If they gave you money, you do not need to state the amount, but thank them for their generosity and perhaps mention how you intend to put the money to use in your new married life. Ending the note with a fun moment you shared with them at your wedding is always a great way to add a truly personal touch.

For any guests that were unable to attend your wedding, but sent a gift, you will want to thank them for thinking of you during this special time. Then the rest of the thank you note wording will have the same guidelines listed above.

2. Who should write out the thank you notes, is it the bride’s responsibility?

While it’s usually the bride’s responsibility to write out thank you notes following a bridal shower, it’s absolutely a team effort when it comes to the wedding thank you notes. You and your spouse can decide together how you tackle the task. Often, we see each person taking on their side of the guest list since they tend to know them a little better and it’s easier to write a more personalized message. However you choose to divide and conquer, don’t forget to sign both of your names regardless of who physically wrote the note.

We understand wedding thank you notes often seem like an overwhelming task, but if you commit to writing a handful each night, the process becomes much more manageable. We suggest making thank you note writing as fun as possible. Grab a bottle of wine, throw on some of your favorite music and see who can finish the most thoughtful notes in an hour. Ready, set, go!

3. Should we send a thank you note to someone who attended, but didn’t give a gift?

Yes, everyone who attended your wedding should receive a wedding thank you note. After all, they took time and possibly money, if they traveled, to be there on your wedding day. In this case, their presence should be considered your gift. A note thanking them for attending and how appreciative you are that they were able to celebrate such a special day will do the trick!

4. Do we have to hand write a note if we the card has a pre-written message?

The answer is a definite yes! While a nice pre-printed message is a great touch to your note, you definitely want to include a personal note acknowledging the specific gift they gave you. The message does not have to be a short story, but when it comes to wedding thank you note writing, a gracious handwritten note is always the way to go.

5. How long do we have to send out our thank you notes?

While the answer to this question has been known to vary, we believe promptness counts! While you may have heard some people advocate that thank you notes can be sent out up to a year following your wedding, we disagree. Proper etiquette suggests wedding thank you notes be sent out three months after returning from your honeymoon. (That is, if your honeymoon is directly following your wedding.) In the months following your wedding, the events of the day are likely still a fun topic to chat about with your friends and family. Sending out your wedding thank you notes during this time, is not only appropriate, but is a great way of sharing the wedding excitement for just a little bit longer.

Want more advice on what to do for your wedding stationary? Check out our post on wedding invitation etiquette!

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